I haven’t known what to write about these last couple of weeks. So much is going on right now – good things, mostly, but overwhelming for now. Not ready to write about it yet.
So…what else is there…?
I will never understand why people feel the need to comment negatively on a person’s website? I had a comment recently in which someone told me I should just write out my recipes without interjecting all my thoughts and feelings about the process as I went along. Really? Says who? I’m not writing a cookbook. I’m writing for me, mostly. If you don’t like how I write, then fine, you aren’t obligated to keep reading, or to come back. But why feel the need to tell me how I should write so that YOU will come back? If you are going to be rude to me, frankly, I don’t care if you come back or not. Do people not realize how they come across? Or do they not care? Since this is the relative anonymity of the internet, I suppose people feel they can be as impolite as they want to be without repercussion.
I realize this is nothing new. Trolls will be trolls. I just don’t understand why.
For various reasons, I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching…self-examination…all that looking-inward stuff. Thinking about going into therapy to get some help sorting through all the gunk in my head. Looking at patterns of behavior that I realize have not changed, in some ways, since I was a kid. Ugh. Why am I still like this? How do I stop?
A good friend suggested I figure out how I want to be…how I imagine my life will be after therapy does its thing…so I’m working on that.
I want to be a better person.
There are things about me that cripple me in different ways, and I know I have been my own stumbling block in so many ways for so long. Patterns that repeat in my family…patterns I want to stop, or change, so my kids don’t repeat my mistakes.
I’ve come to realize that fear, in one form or another, has been a big factor in how I behave. It was an ugly thing to recognize. Fear stops you from growing. Fear makes you do things you wish you hadn’t done…and it makes you look back on your life later and wish you’d done things you didn’t do.
Fear is a giant leech.
I remember reading something somewhere about how everything we do is based either in love or fear. Love. Fear.
I’ve wasted too much time operating from fear.
Not 100% of the time. But too much, nonetheless.
Any suggestions on what to eat when you’ve made yourself into a nervous wreck and you feel like if you eat you’ll vomit, but you know you need to eat because it’ll be long time before you get a chance to eat again and if you don’t eat you’ll probably end up with a headache?
My kids are growing up too fast. My son will be ten on his next birthday.
He’s so excited. Double digits.
How can he be nearly ten? He’s just a tiny baby…
That’s about all I can pull together today.
How are things with you?