I had one of those mornings today.
One of those "what the hell am I doing???" mornings.
One of those mornings where I am grabbed around the neck by the fear that I've made the wrong decisions...the wrong choices...that I've wasted time...that I'm going nowhere...that I'm well on my way to becoming a failure as a person.
Not as a mother.
But as me. Whoever that's supposed to be.
I'm working on it.
But anyway, I gave myself a few short reminders. Things to think about.
Like...
"Look neither to the right nor to the left."
I have no idea if that's a real quote from somewhere.
But basically, it's my way of reminding myself not to check on anyone else's progress and just to focus on my own. Not to compare myself - and find myself lacking in the process. But just to keep going forward.
And another one...
"Just do something."
That one used to be the slogan I borrowed from Nike - "Just do it."
But IT can be daunting, because it's ALL of IT.
And that's a big bite.
And so rather than paralyzing myself with the order to JUST DO IT, I am trying to keep myself going by just doing SOMETHING toward that IT. Each day.
Even when I'm overflowing with doubt and self criticism. And, you know, fear.
And so I resolved to do something today.
I was in the kitchen - my office, sort of - checking email and other blogs.
And - entirely by surprise - I came across this post on Red Pony Farm.
Entirely by surprise.
I stared at the screen and felt my heart and spirit lift a bit.
I SO needed that today. So very much.
Thank you, Edna Leigh Libby, for writing that kind post.
It helped me today.
